Should We Break Up? My Boyfriend Won't Scale Bridges for Abortion Rights
Issue No. 98 | Wednesday June 29, 2022
Should We Break Up? My Boyfriend Won't Scale Bridges for Abortion Rights
Outdoor Dining Guide: Best Bug Spray to Pair with DC's Finest Restaurants
Summer has arrived, COVID is over, and DC’s red-hot dining scene has reached its apex in the form of the venerated streatery.
But what to do about the insatiable mosquitos that perturb Washington gourmands sitting in a parking lane in 95 percent humidity, trying to enjoy a fine ceviche as city buses speed just inches from their table?
Fortunately, the refined palates at The Cherry Swamp have tested and approved a wide array of bug sprays, and we offer our expert recommendations on which cuisine pairs best with each spray.
Cutter Backwoods: With strong notes of DEET and a pungent terrestrial bouquet, Cutter Backwoods pairs perfectly with grilled red meat–extra rare–from Frisco’s Double Eagle steakhouse.
OFF! Sensitive Smooth & Dry: With a floral nose and its promise to keep your sensitive widdle skin both smooth and dry, this bug spray compliments the vibrant but light seafood of Georgetown’s Fiola Mare. Take half home for lunch tomorrow, we know your delicate tummy can’t finish the whole entree.
Babyganics DEET Free Bug Spray: Sure, you’re at Matchbox eating a plain cheese pie with your toddler. But why not elevate the experience by pairing your ‘za with Babyganics’ playful and childlike rosemary and lemongrass notes? Note: may attract bees.
Natrapel Eco-Spray: You love the planet, and you’d hate to have to kill a mosquito, even if it was actively giving you malaria. When you’re dining al fresco at Elizabeth’s Gone Raw, apply picaridin-based Natrapel Eco-Spray, which will gently shoo the bugs away unharmed. Its lemon eucalyptus scent also pairs well with the crystal you use instead of deodorant.
Frontline Advantage: Sometimes you just want to slam some brews with your buds and your bow wows–sans the bugs. If it’s good enough for Baxter, it is good enough for you: Frontline Advantage prevents fleas and ticks when you and your doggo get sloshed at Dacha Beer Garden (either location).
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Fireworks and Democracy: Best Rooftops to Watch Both Burn on the Fourth
Ellipse Rooftop Bar: Though the Ellipse landmark is open to the public, the Ellipse Rooftop Bar is exclusive. From here, watch our dismal future take shape.
Top of the Yard Rooftop Bar: This rooftop offers much more than fireworks. Watch the Nats lose baseball games while we lose our freedom.
Vue Rooftop Bar: A great bar if you want to view the Washington Monument thrusting up from the earth as we all get fucked.
The Ven at Embassy Row: This rooftop offers a view of the night sky while overlooking the embassies of other nations. Rejoice as you are reminded that a few places on earth are not on fire.
The Graham Georgetown: An awesome view from historic Georgetown. Gaze upon our momentous city and remember the awful deeds that got us here.