Washington Commanders Positively Glowing in First Season Without Toxic Ex
Issue No. 151 I Wednesday, September 13, 2023
Washington Commanders Positively Glowing In First Season Without Toxic Ex
Catch Major Tuddy throwing it back at Decades
Peak Fall! Introducing Pumpkin Spice Antidepressants
It's a Spooky Season Reuptake Inhibitor
Latest Jobs Report Shows Employment Boom for Soup-Brained Octogenarians
“Mmm, soup!” said way too many members of Congress.
It’s Something! Hot Mess Uses Entire Lip Balm Before Losing It
It was even one of those Blistex circle things! They’re pretty big!
Not Again! Band You Paid $300 to See Perform Asks Crowd to Sing
WTF is this Kidz Bop?
DC’s Curbside Composting Makes a Splash on 18th St Sidewalk at 2 am
Who knew Jumbo Slice and Dan's squeeze bottles were good for the environment!
The Room Is Bugged: Six Covert Techniques to Deal with DC Mosquitos In Your House
Squash them with a Military grade tactical flyswatter
Install a tiny laser security system a la Entrapment
Seduce them at a fancy gala event, then crush their hearts by not calling the next day
Disguise yourself as one of them. Befriend them to understand their motivations. Then crush their hopes and dreams
Capture a spider, get them on your side, team up and FEAST
Tell them you have a networking opportunity, then catch them in an actual net.
Cyclist Demands City Increase Bike Lanes So He Can Flip People Off While Riding On Sidewalk
5 points for grandmas, 10 points for pedestrians, 1 point for strollers
"Plant Mom" Heartbroken To Find Her Babies Thrived During Her Month Long Trip To Europe
Mon Dieu! Mon-stera!